What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Make Nazis afraid again!

Why did the massacre of al-Dawayima Palestinian residents not have the same reverberations as the Deir Yasin massacre?

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

What are some hard rock or heavy metal bands that are overrated?

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

What are some things you would change about Avatar: The Last Airbender if you were to redo the series?

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

What are the most significant instances of romantic jealousy in the Harry Potter series?

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Bacteria living in your gut may cause depression, not your brain, says a new study - Earth.com

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Have you ever seen a woman having sex with a dog?

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

I caught my neighbor leaving his 12-year-old son home alone and he has not come back in 6 hours. Should I call CPS?

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

What are the coolest new smart home gadgets to upgrade your living space?

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

What are the beliefs of those who think climate change is a conspiracy theory? What do they predict will happen if we do not address it?

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

What is your opinion on The Beatles' impact on modern popular music? Are there any other bands with similar impacts on their genre(s)? Why them and not others?

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

What was your most embarrassing wardrobe malfunction in public?

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